Anniversary Email 20

Happy Anniversary,<NAME>!

The Negative Zone is a terrifying dimension of otherworldly creatures from the darkest depths of human nightmares. Beasts that are little more than ravening maws ringed in rows of lamprey fangs that exist only to seek out and consume human flesh. In a mad quest to unlock a world of limitless energy, we may have accidentally torn a hole to this dimension, and said creatures may be presently spilling forward into our world at a rate that some are describing as “apocalyptic”. I attempted to reach the lead scientist for comment, but upon knocking on his door I was answered with a single gunshot.

It appears the more our worlds interact, the larger the rend grows. In time, massive leviathans will spill out, wetly, on to our earth. Their blind eyes will stare upward at our sun as their scent glands hunt out all living creatures to shovel into the bottomless furnace of their mouths. Propelled on thousands on legs that are little more than sharpened bone spikes, we can expect to be impaled dozens of times before the torturous chewing commences.

In an effort to avoid all of that, we need someone to close the fissure. Now, unfortunately doing so will require the detonation of a device we are calling the Omega Orb. Also, more unfortunately it needs to be detonated in the Negative Zone. That is where you come in. You will accompany the Omega Orb to the Negative Zone and fire the device. That should close the fissure, trapping you there with all the alien horrors that hunger to crack  your bones and suck on the sweet, sweet marrow within. Assuming, of course, the Omega Orb does not kill you outright or mutate you horribly, turning you into some kind of hideous Negative Zone Overlord capable only of feeling pain and bent on avenging yourself upon those who trapped you in a terrible realm of ceaseless torment and suffering.

We will be along shortly for your reassignment.

P.S. Apologies for the delay, I was out of the office opening a portal to the Negative Zone.

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