Anniversay Email 12

Congratulations on 8 years at <COMPANY>! That is twice the average life span of an opossum, and nearly 81x the lifespan of a honey bee! You have also provided more value to <COMPANY> than either of the above, several fold! Unless we have some secret rabies project. In that case then the opossum might win. I mean, you can’t compete with a rabid opossum in the field of rabies. The opossum is going to win on experience alone. I guess I could try contracting rabies and testing that theory out. That would be the scientific thing to do. I’ll be right back.

One last thing: You haven’t seen any rabid opossums running around, have you? Probably not. Thought I’d check. Maybe I can find some bats or something…

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